Welcome to the Year of the Valkyrie

I named 2016 the Year of the Phoenix, but the way world politics played out, it probably should have been the Year of the Bonnacon. Not just because they sprayed shit all over everything, but also because of their permanent look of anxiety. Behold:

If ever an imaginary animal exemplified a real year...

As you may know by now, I have habitually named the year after a mythological animal since 2013. For me, this has become a way of shaping my attitudes and aims for the year ahead.

I started doing this in 2013 (the Year of the Unicorn), because I was in really bad shape mentally, and I needed some magic. Can't think of anything more magical than a unicorn. 

2014 was the Year of the Kraken. I'd lost my confidence in my writing career and abilities over the previous couple of years, and in 2014 I wanted to get it back. 

2015 was the Year of the Basilisk. It was about conquering my enemies - in this case, lingering self-doubt and anxiety about myself and my choices. 

2016 was the Year of the Phoenix. It was about moving forward, writing the kind of stories that I love and finding new things to be happy about and grateful for. That's...that's been tricky at times. On a global level, 2016 was awful. On a personal level, we lost Fergus and Remic, losses I think we'll feel for a really long time still.

But come the end of the year, on a personal level, there are reasons for me to be happy and grateful. I have written stories I love and seen them published. I won an award! Common Brimstone has been so busy that I have to keep shutting it down. I have visited new countries with people I love. There have been bright moments, and they are worth cherishing and fighting for.

2017 is going to be...a year. In the UK, Article 50 will be triggered, beginning our exit from the EU. I remain staunchly pro-EU, so this disheartens and scares me. In the USA, Donald Trump will take office. I am scared and saddened for my American friends, for PoC and minorities all across America. Across the world, horrible situations already happening will keep happening, from torture to refugee crises, to civil wars, to oppression...It's easy to feel like there's just too much horrible stuff happening, that we can't make a difference, and that maybe we should just stick to our little corner of the world and worry about that.

And some days, you should do that. Self-care is important and vital, and you deserve to protect your mental health. But, darlings, not every day. Some days, you gotta get out there and fight. Fight for what you love and believe in, fight for people who can't fight for themselves, fight for your friends and yourself. And that's why 2017 is going to be the Year of the Valkyrie.

I don't know about you, but I need that warrior spirit going forward. I need to remind myself that I have a voice, and that I'm in a privileged position where I can speak out and speak up. Not all of my friends can do that. As an ally to those people, I have a responsibility to listen, to try to learn, and to push back against threats. As a pro-Remain Brit, I have a duty to speak out against the uneducated, misinformed politics that are shaping my country. As a human being, I have an obligation to act with passion, compassion, and kindness wherever and whenever I can... and to take no shit from those won't fulfill that obligation themselves. I want to be a warrior in whatever way I can, and I can't think of a better totem for that going forward than the valkyrie.

I am carrying forward two quotes with me into the New Year. One to remind me of the need for kindness:

And one to remind me of the need to fight:

I resolve to be kind. And I resolve to take no shit. Happy New Year!

Friday Check-In: The Be A Nice Human edition

So yes, it's Friday and yes, I wrote this week. Not much, because Real Life conspired against me, but eh. I wrote. It counts.

There. Now let's talk about the shit-storm that is western politics this week.

After Brexit, I have to admit, I was holding out hope that America wouldn't also do a stupid thing and elect Trump, but I underestimated a lot of factors. How low voter turnout would be. How distrusted Clinton is. How deeply Trump was able to tap into certain disenfranchised and bigoted segments of the population. And yes, sorry, it is bigoted. He is bigoted. His words and actions leave no room for doubt. And, as with the post-Brexit rise in hate crimes here, I predict Americans are going to experience a similar huge spike, as all those racists, bigots, and fascists over there feel their private attitudes have now been validated by their president-elect. Economically and in terms of scientific research, Trump is equally terrifying. Again, parallels with Brexit.

As with Brexit, I'm scared for people. It's easy to say that it's only four years before the next election, how much damage can he do, he will be tempered, etc. But whilst the political fallout might be tempered, the psychological fallout that this right-wing surge we're seeing across America and Europe isn't going to die down in a set time period. People aren't that simple, and people vote and act with their emotions, and sometimes their emotions are dark and nasty,

So what do we do? I'm torn. I believe in being kind and compassionate. That quote up above is one I have on a pendant which I wear often, when my mood sinks or the world looks bleak or people are cruel, because I honestly do believe in empathy and kindness. But I do not believe we have to tolerate intolerance. I do not believe that vile behaviour should go unchallenged in the name of being kind. Sometimes we have to push back, because there are people who need pushing.

And you can do this in good, positive ways.

Give blood. Please give blood. In the UK, we need over 6000 blood donations a day, especially from black, Asian, and ethnic minorities, to treat patients. We need more young donors, too. For years I didn't think I was able to give blood, but it turns out I can, so if you're unsure, please check. It's important, it's always needed, and it costs you nothing but your time. And your blood. Your precious, delicious blood.

Support charities. If you're not certain that a charity is using its donations ethically and well, check GiveWell. There are countless causes that need and deserve our support, and anything you can give makes a difference. You can also support retailers that donate proceeds to charity. Olivia R Burton has some cool ideas here. Whatever it is you're passionate about, find a charity that feels equally passionate about it and get involved however you can.

Be a good ally. Speak up when you see hate, stand besides those at risk. Listen. Support. It's scary, but it matters. Whether that means reporting and blocking abusive Twitter users or lending your support to someone being verbally abused on the bus, please do what you can.

Stay motivated. It's easy to forget how angry you feel right now, in the wake of these political earthquakes, because life does go on. You still have to pay your bills, do your job, deal with family emergencies, whatever. But change starts from the ground up. Vote in local elections, and for the love of Cthulhu, vote for people whose ideologies and values match yours. Don't vote for fucking dead gorillas. Remember that in four or five years time, all the shit you're angry and scared about now will still matter.

Keep fighting. You don't have to stop talking about how upset you are that your side lost. You don't have to tolerate hatred. If someone tells you (as they probably will) that "this is democracy, get over it," tell them that one of the four key elements of democracy is protection of the human rights of all citizens. They probably won't listen or care if they're already the kind of people who hate immigrants and think the Gay Agenda is coming for their kids, but don't let yourself forget it. You matter and you are worth fighting for.

Don't be in a bubble. I'm not saying "expose yourself to danger," but let's face it - by and large we choose to associate with people who share our views, and thus it's easy to believe that X will never happen, because everyone you know is too smart/progressive/liberal to allow it. Just...be aware that not everyone is capable of being kind or empathetic, and that's why it's more important than ever that we are.

This is how we push back. Not by being weak, but by being kind. By working to change the world for the better in whatever way we can. Big acts, small acts, they count either way. Be a nice human. Fight for other nice humans.

Brexit Wounds

Ever since the very early hours of Friday 24th June I've had all these words raging in my head. All these emotions. Hate, disbelief, shock, despair, anger, hope, confusion, hysteria...It's just been a babble. A mess. I voted Remain. I thought Remain would win because...because I just did. Because the Leave campaign was full of lies. Because I couldn't believe that many people would let this man speak for us. Because I believe that, whilst the EU has its flaws, we are stronger together and that we have a responsibility as people - not as Britons but as people - to help each other. I still believe that, and yet here we are. Brexit is happening.

Since Friday, I've consumed so much news, so many opinions, seen so much outpouring of feeling on both sides, and I'm exhausted and heart-sore. There has been a sharp rise in incidents of hate crime since the result, such as Polish families in my own county receiving signs reading "No more Polish vermin" through their doors. I'm sickened that this result has opened the doors for that kind of bigotry and racism, that we've become a country that has mainstreamed it and validated it. When did this happen? That is not the world I know. Then again, I'm lucky to be relatively sheltered in Cambridge, working for the University. We thrive on international partnerships, like many universities around the country. So maybe I'm just out of touch with the rest of the country, or at least with roughly half of it.

I've never had a strong sense of national identity, because I grew up travelling all over the UK and Europe, I think, and because I grew up in a generation used to free movement around the continent. But I do love England...or at least the image I had in my head of England. I can't identify with people who scream abuse at immigrants in the street, or talk proudly of "sending them home" in our village shop. I can't feel any kinship with people who would rather destroy the country than share it. I thought we were better than that.

Nor can I identify with people who can happily ignore the economic impact of Brexit. Their shortsightedness astounds me. It's clear the Leave leaders had no plan in the event of a victory, and now they're rushing to assure us everything will be the same. But of course it can't be, and it's a fantasy to think we can have all the benefits of being in the EU whilst paying none of the fees. It terrifies me to think Boris Johnson may be the man leading us into the exit proceedings. But then, the idea of a general election terrifies me too, knowing that huge numbers of people in this country support Ukip and Nigel Farage.

So here we are. There is no plan, presumably because Leave didn't really expect to win. I imagine they thought this would just be a good way to put the wind up David Cameron, and that afterwards they could sit in their parlours, smoke their cigars, and brag about how they shook up the status quo. Well, congrats, because you really did and now you don't know what to do. And we pay the price in uncertainty and hatred.

Meanwhile, "Bregret" kicks in. I can't tell you how many petitions I've seen circulated for a second referendum. I even signed one, although in my heart of hearts I don't feel that's the solution. We could have referendums forever. The fact is, the referendum result is not legally binding, so another one doesn't particularly help. From those not feeling "Bregret," I'm told that this is democracy, get over it. As if there's a time limit on democratic debate. I'm told the people have spoken and that we're going to make this country great again. Obviously nobody actually knows how. The only people I have seen confidently and blithely assuring me that everything's going to be great - exciting, even! - are rich old men. And even they don't seem to have a clue how to make it so, beyond issuing ludicrous demands to the EU that can't possibly be fulfilled.

Ever since Friday I've been anxious, unable to focus, and full of anger that has nowhere to go. I've signed all the petitions, joined all the groups, written to my MP, and read all the news articles, and I still have no idea what I can do. I can't quietly sit back and accept that this divided, broken, bitter landscape is my future, or the future of the people I love. I can't stand the thought of my niece growing up in a society where this is acceptable. So I need to find ways to keep standing up for what I believe in, even if it's bloody futile. Because I do still believe that we as people, regardless of where we're from, can do better than that. And that we need to.

So to my Muslim boss, our doctors from Poland, Holland, Belgium, Japan, Turkey, Switzerland, India, Brazil, and all over the UK and Ireland, to the nurses from all over the world I see every day here in Addenbrooke's working to save lives, to the taxi drivers of all nationalities who ferried me and Remic all over Cambridge in May and earlier this month, to the nurses and doctors from Spain and the Middle East who helped Kyle through his surgery on Saturday...Well, I value you all. I love some of you. You're my friends and workmates and neighbours, you've improved and enriched my life and I'm sorry, so sorry, that you're experiencing this.

To the Leavers - I'm sorry if you're one of those who now regret your vote. I'm sorry you were lied to, that you believed your vote didn't count. I'm sorry our media and government have taught you that. If you're one of those who has no "Bregret," then I'm sorry you think the political, economic, and social troubles facing us now are worth it. I'm sorry you felt so unheard and disenfranchised that you now feel the only way forward is hatred and further division. I'm sorry you still believe in Good Old Britain, that you don't see or don't care how harmful those colonialist, imperialist notions are. I'm sorry that you're dragging the rest of us into a quagmire of unrest because you don't like having Polish neighbours. I wish you were better than that, like I assumed you were.

And I'm sorry, but no, I won't shut up and get over it.