"I hate mornings, and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy."

I've been in a real writing slump since September. I've been working on an Amber Morgan project ("working" in the loosest sense of the word, because not much work is getting done), which I really should have finished by now, but my motivation levels have been pretty much non-existent. I've been feeling low as a result - when I'm not writing, I'm not happy. It's taken me a while to figure out the problem, and it's a combination of things really, but yesterday I deleted the last 2500 words I wrote on that wip and felt much better.

They weren't bad words. They just weren't the right words. I'm confident that when I go back to the project, I'll be in a better place and frame of mind to tackle and finish it.

That didn't happen yesterday because I had the first round edits for IMPERIAL DEMONS to work on! YAY! This time last year, I was just starting work on this book. I took a break on it to finish LICH QUEEN, so it feels like a lifetime ago that I started it now. I loved getting back to Lola and Tristesse and re-reading the almighty tome that was never going to end that is IMPERIAL DEMONS. I can't wait to share it with you all, and now the first round edits are in the bag, hopefully it won't be too long before I can! I know some people were disappointed with LICH QUEEN and the switch to Dawn, but it was important for me to tell that story and wrap up that story arc in the series. IMPERIAL DEMONS and the next two or three books (haven't decided how many I'll need yet!) will focus on Lola and Tristesse, and the fallout of their time in Gehenna, and I wanted to clear the slate, as it were, before digging into that arc.

So stay tuned - release dates and cover art are surely not far away!

Meanwhile, are we following each other on Instagram? No? Maybe we should! You can find me there as naomi_jay_clark. Evernight's seventh birthday is coming up and part of the celebration is a Loop Giveaway on Instagram!

Myself and 31 other fantastic authors will be taking part on October 23rd.  Each author will have a prize to giveaway and Evernight is offering a few GRAND PRIZES, including gift certificates and prize packs. If you complete the loop, you’ll have the chance to #win at least 35 different prizes.

I’m giving away a collectible THROWN TO THE WOLVES mug, like so:

So hit me up and look out for the giveaway later this month! Following me also has the benefits of seeing silly pictures of Yuki, and you know that's the real prize.

The Care and Feeding of the Sick Writer

So I'm off work sick today. It feels like a virus, with an added dose of "maybe something wrong with my sinuses?" I'm breathless, hot, tired, and sneezing like a maniac. I rang a local taxi company this morning (twice!) instead of my office to call in sick, and I sent the wrong version of IN COLD BLOOD to my publisher last night after two days of editing. Definitely not in the right state to go to work and handle audits and make decisions, at least not today. And since my office is based in a hospital, I'm always slightly suspicious that I'm just going to attract more germs as I walk around.

I have this bad habit, when I'm home sick, of feeling like I still need to be a productive adult and get shit done, but given that I'm getting out of breath just walking around the house, I'm trying to resist that urge today. Luckily for me, Kyle is working from home and has heroically already supplied me with cold and flu meds, soup, and red velvet cookies. Yuki is a terrible nursemaid, and is skulking in the garden, but I'm sure she's wishing me well from a safe distance. Possibly she's consulting one of her many shrew friends for herbal remedies.

While she's doubtless questing for my cure, I'm kitting myself out for a day of huddling on the sofa with a few basic essentials.

1. Music.

Actually, Kyle picked the music, but there's never a bad time to listen to Bad Religion, and with world politics being what they are (ie, a fucking mess), they seem particularly relevant right now.


2. Tea.

I mean, this is me, so there would be tea anyway. But today I'm indulging with flowering tea from Beastly Beverages. Ideally I should have an elegant glass tea cup to show this tea off in, but I'm making do with my matcha tea bowl instead.

Incidentally, if you love fandom and tea, consider supporting Beastly Beverages! I do believe if you spend over £10 in January, you get a free gift. I recommend Pooka, the Black Forest Gateau tea.

3. Reading Material.

I recently discovered Highbrow, which offers free, bitesize online learning courses in everything from web marketing to desk yoga. I'm currently signed up for their Deadliest Dictators In History course for no reason whatsoever. Today it's Stalin, so that's cheerful. But, you know, if we don't learn from history, etc...

4. Casual Games

I'm a big fan of hidden object/puzzle games, because they're (usually) quick and I can dip in and out of them whilst writing. I've got a few piled up that I bought over Christmas and haven't tried out yet, so, assuming I won't be able to brain enough to write, I'm thinking of dipping into Rusty Lake Hotel. Although that might take more brain power than I have, in which case my back-up is Shadow Era. This is a collectible card game that I've been playing FOREVER and I love it. I love the art, I love the mythos, and I love the music. It's perfect for dipping in and out of. More than likely, however, I'll switch off the laptop entirely and play Pokemon X because...Pokemon.

5. Writing?

Maybe? I don't know. I always feel like if I'm at home with nothing else more pressing going on, I should write. I never don't want to write. It's the only thing I do that never feels like a chore, but I guess some days you have to give yourself a pass. I'm definitely not feeling like I could produce anything decent right now, so whilst the urge to at least try is still there, I'd probably do better to just disengage my brain for now. I still really want to finish Lich Queen by the end of January, but one day isn't going to be make or break, and given that it took me three attempts just now to write "going" instead of "working," I obviously can't trust my fingers today.

Anyway! Yuki has returned from the garden to spy on me and make sure I don't die before her tea time. I'm off to drink gallons of tea and read about Stalin. Happy Monday!

Constant vigilance is the price of regular meal times.

Guest Blog - Yuki and Olivia R Burton take over!

Since on Friday I got distracted by NXT Takeover (OMG I love American Alpha so hard. SO HARD), I didn't get to post this. And yesterday I went to finalise my holiday to Iceland with Mum, so I didn't post it then either. But today I have neither American Alpha or Iceland to distract me, so here we go!

Since Yuki is always keen to help around the house, I asked her to sit down with my friend and fellow cat-lover, Olivia R Burton, and ask her some questions about the re-release of her funny, smart, sugar-rich urban fantasy,  MIXED FEELINGS. Yuki did her best to stay on topic and I think she did very well for a first attempt. So, without further ado, let's see what they had to talk about!

Y: Hello, Miss Olivia! I am Miss Yuki, and I am a Beautiful Girl and also a cheeky missus sometimes. Like me, your book cover is very beautiful. Would you tell me a bit about the inside and is it also a cheeky missus?

ORB: I'd say Gwen can be pretty cheeky, even though she's usually too busy being cowardly and hungry to be cheeky. She does have some fun adventures, which I hear you have your share of as well. I'll bet if Gwen got stuck on the roof of the shed, she'd cry more than you do, though.

Y: It is true that I do cry a lot when I get stuck on the shed roof and up trees and on the roof of the house, but it's not because I'm upset. I just want everyone to know where I am at all times in case they want to bring me something.

ORB: In Mixed Feelings, Gwen's first book, she doesn't get stuck on the shed, but she does have to help some fairy monsters find some missing kids, which she needs help with just like you sometimes need help coming down off the roof! Luckily, like you have your people, she has her best friend Chloe there to hold her hand and make sure she gets through the ordeal safely.

Y: Yes, it is good to have helpful people. My people are very patient with me when I forget how to get off the shed. I understand that there is a werewolf in your book, which is like a big dog. I myself do not like dogs, so can you explain why you put one in there?

ORB: I bet you wouldn't mind this werewolf. Mel doesn't turn into a wolf too often, and spends most of his time just trying to get his hands on kitties. Generally they're a different type of kitty than you are, but I'm sure he'd be more than happy to scratch behind your ears if you asked. He's always happy to please a lady.

Y: And I am always happy to be pleased! You have a lot of cats. Which one is in charge?

ORB: It used to be Snapshot in charge, but that's been a source of contention in the house since my roommate moved in. He has a lady cat named Lucca who likes to think of herself as being the boss, as well. They steer clear of each other, both pretending they are the boss, and have decided it's not worth having words over anymore.

Y: As an only cat, I am in charge by default but I would be in charge anyway because I am the most precious and beautiful cat ever, the man says. The lady in your book, Gwen, can tell people's feelings with her mind, which I think would be good for cats, because sometimes I have to meow twice to make people do things for me, and if they just knew what I wanted with magic, that would save time. Do you think Gwen's magic would be good in real life?

ORB: Hmmm. That's a good question, Yuki. I'd say that, if all people could actually feel the emotions of people and animals around, the world would have to be a much different place. It could make us all more compassionate, helping us to see that people we say mean things to have feelings too, and aren't just standing in front of us willing to take verbal abuse. On the other hand, it could also have become such a common occurrence throughout history that people would go the opposite way and be jaded about feeling the sadness of those around them. Maybe we would be so used to feeling those around us being sad or angry or happy that we wouldn't really notice anymore.

Y: My people moved the snake tanks so I can't sit and watch them and tap on the glass any more and that made me sad, but nobody is helping me.

ORB: I bet the snakes miss seeing your cute little face!

Naomi's note: She's not sad at all, don't worry.

Y: You have another book about Gwen and cake out, too. What else happens in that besides cake, and are there going to be more after that one?

ORB: If it were up to Gwen, nothing would happen other than cake. A glutton sitting around eating cupcakes and candy wouldn't make for good reading, though, so Gwen's going to have many more interesting adventures. In Business With Pleasure, Gwen's second book, she's got to help find a murderer, help stop a stalker, and make nice with her ex-husband. She does get to eat ice cream toward the end, though! In the next book there will be more cupcakes, more werewolves (sorry, Yuki!), and a proposal.

Y: Gwen is very adventurous! Where can people keep track of your cake books?

ORB: They can go to my website, OliviaRBurton.com, or they can follow me on Twitter. I also have a page on Facebook that can easily be liked, and an Instagram where I often post pictures of all my cats.

Y: Thank you, Miss Olivia, for sharing all your book and cat and cake news with us! Now I am off to steal socks from the neighbours, because I worry that my people maybe don't have enough. Good day!

Naomi's note: I don't know if she did steal these socks or not, but they definitely aren't ours and she does look really pleased with herself so...

The Most Monday-ish Monday that Ever Mondayed

We had a plan for today. Kyle was due to go into hospital for back surgery this morning. I'd booked the day off work to accompany him for moral support and possibly to film him talking gibberish when he came round from the general anesthetic, and to make sure he got home in one piece.

And then the surgery was cancelled, because the surgeon has an eye infection. And I guess, yes, you don't want a visually-impaired surgeon messing around with your spine. So that happened. And I figured I may as well go to work and take back my day of annual leave, and use it later in the month when the surgery actually happens.

And then, whilst casually passing the snake tanks, I saw Remic. This is not unusual. What was unusual was the huge distended lump in the middle of my very slim and elegant idiot. I am 95% positive that was not there last time I looked. Panic ensued.

We were pretty sure it wasn't a gut issue, because he hadn't been fed for a while (in fact, today was supposed to be feeding day). Sometimes when a snake is constipated, you can deal with it yourself by bathing him in warm water, changing the temperature of his environment, or even just handling him yourself. But, like I say, given his feeding schedule, we thought this probably wasn't food-related. Luckily there is a vet in Cambridge that specialises in exotic pets, so I gave them a call, and after a few misunderstandings (I was very nearly registered as Naomi Quark, and Remic as Bulwick), we got an appointment.

An appointment hours and hours away, since I discovered the Grotesque Bulge around 11.30, and the appointment was at 5.15. That's a really long time to have to just hang around and worry about your pet. We were slightly mollified by the fact that Remic didn't seem to notice he had a Grotesque Bulge, but then Remic once bit himself in the tail, so...you know. He's not smart.

He would struggle to qualify as simple

Anyway, since we had no choice but to wait, we waited. I'd have to take him by myself, as Kyle was working from home, and I'd have to take a taxi. That was fine; the taxi company assured me they were happy to transport a snake. The question was, how was I going to transport a snake?

The answer is: in a duvet cover, in a washing basket. Let me say now that getting Remic into a duvet cover ranks up there as one of the most stressful things I've ever done, and I've worked with academics for nine years. He didn't want to go in the duvet cover. He wanted to go in my perfume drawer. This fundamental disagreement between us took place while Yuki, aghast at being shut in the living room, cried mournfully at us. She loves Remic. He's her favourite thing to sit and stare at for hours, and we were not only depriving her of this entertainment, but also keeping her behind a closed door, which she is opposed to on a molecular level.

So. Eventually we got Rem in the duvet cover. Then the taxi driver showed up, having simply been told I would have "a pet" with me. Needless to say, he wasn't expecting the pet to be tied up in a duvet cover. Nonetheless, he hid his concerns well and off we went.

The vet was brilliant, and Rem behaved himself uncharacteristically well, without biting anyone, including himself. Rem had no problems with me or the vet touching the Bulge, and didn't seem to be in any discomfort, but again...idiot. The problem was, the vet has no idea what's causing the Grotesque Bulge. He said it looked like fluid, but when he poked Rem (carefully) with a needle, no fluid of any kind came out. The Bulge is too low down to be a problem with Rem's heart or stomach, but could possibly be a gut issue or a tumour, although it didn't really feel like one according to the vet. We could be looking at some kind of infection or virus, but there's no way to tell with just an external examination.

So I've had to leave him there overnight so he can have x-rays and ultrasounds tomorrow. There is the possibility that these won't help with a diagnosis, but there's really nothing to lose by trying. I guess every animal lover knows how hard it is to leave your baby at the vets' for any reason, but I kind of take comfort in knowing that Rem will likely not notice any difference.

So there we are. That was a pretty long, worrying Monday that didn't go according to any kind of plan. I have to go back to the vet after work tomorrow, hopefully to bring Remic home. Ket is currently doing his best to fill the void by trying to eat a mouse tail-first, and Yuki is staring into Rem's empty vivarium in a slightly offended manner. And I am having my first cup of tea of the day - it's now gone 10pm and I'm about six cups behind my usual schedule - and waiting again. Waiting for news, be it good or bad. That kinda sucks. This year has not been kind to me on the pet front so far. I shall be crossing Yuki's paws and Ket's tail that Remic comes home without a Grotesque Bulge tomorrow.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

I am a lazy blogger, it turns out. I even set myself a month-long blogging challenge for my Amber Morgan blog in April, and so far I've only managed four days of it. Some times there's just nothing to talk about though. I'm writing as much as I can, but do you need to hear that once a week? Probably not. And I feel like nothing else I do is worth commenting on, particularly. I mean, unless people are interested in the glamorous life of a PA? Probably not. So I just put off blogging until I have NEWS, and it then it just feels like I'm using the blog as an advertising board, which isn't what I want at all. And although I like sharing snippets from my work on Wednesdays, the further into a project I get, the harder it is to share non-spoilery stuff. Ugh. Blogging is hard. Here's a picture of Yuki.

She's very sensible, as you can see.

Anyway, I have been doing stuff other than writing and not-blogging. 22nd April was my birthday (I'm 33, which seems way too old for someone who has a toy unicorn on their desk at work), and I went on a Wickedness and Witchcraft tour of Cambridge! We saw Aleister Crowley's student digs and the rooms where Isaac Newton illegally practiced alchemy at Trinity College, as well as learning a fair bit about witch hunting. And our guide was a practicing Wiccan, so we also got to cast a spell at the end of the tour. As far as birthdays go, that was pretty awesome.

In the wake of my birthday (which also involved a lot of food), I came to the shocking realisation that I'm not getting younger and started panicking about my body. As I'm sure you can imagine, my day job is 100% sedentary (apart from frequent trips to the kitchen for tea), and also I'm pretty lazy, as established, so me and exercise are strangers to each other. I also really enjoy chocolate on a very fundamental level. I used to swim pretty regularly, but rotator cuff syndrome makes that an un-fun experience for me nowadays. That's a frustration, because I genuinely enjoying swimming, but nowhere near enough to put up with the chronic pain it causes.

So I decided to take up running. At this point I'll add that I have bronchoconstriction (also known as exercise-induced asthma, which sounds really made-up but is a thing), so I'm not really good at running and breathing at the same time. But I'm determined to make this happen and make my body less of a pain in the ass to live in. I went for my first run this Sunday and didn't die, which I consider a great triumph. I found this app to be incredibly motivating and hope to be apocalypse-ready in the near future.

Meanwhile, I am working on In Cold Blood and doing a ton of research to help inspire the world-building I need to do for Blood Canticles #3, as well as making a million bottles of perfume a week*, and somehow managing to fake being an adult at my day job (the unicorn on my desk isn't helping with that). So I guess I probably do have stuff to talk about and should make the effort to blog more often and worry less about whether anyone wants to read it. I mean, you read my books, right?

Right?

Haha. Let's finish with another picture of Yuki.

She refuses to explain to me what was happening here

*Give or take.